I’m overdue for another “why am I doing all this” post. Five days before a trip is just about the time when I start questioning my choices. I’m not sure what it says about me that I do this, but it happens every time.

You’d think with enough time and effort into something that the answers would be self-evident, but they’re not.

I’m not doing it for money, since I make quite a bit more doing software work. Every hour I spend on Waveplace is essentially a financial loss.

I’m long since past the “doing it for fun” stage, which was a real motivator in the beginning, but pretty much wore off in Lagonav, when the quest became merely a job.

I’m also not doing it for my reputation, unlike most that I know who are aligned with a school, corporation, or government. I have no “professional development” or “community outreach” sections to fill, no bosses who get impressed, no pats on the back from those that would further my career. When I do get complimented, I usually just say thanks and hope the other person joins the work.

So if it’s not money, fun, or reputation, why do I work so hard with Waveplace? Why do I sacrifice family time and software gigs to help people I barely know?

Well, I guess it’s because I believe in the work. Again and again, I see its benefits; I know how it helps kids and teachers. The work is the reward, for the most part.

But this in itself isn’t enough for four years of sacrifice. Feeling happy about helping people is all very fine when someone else is paying for it. To have money weighing you down while doing it requires more than kumbayas.

At core, I’m doing this because of a vision I’ve seen clearly, a long term goal I’ve been trudging towards. I’m motivated by my hope for a paradigm shift in education and the benefits to children and society that will inevitably result. I’m doing this to improve Isabel’s world.

One response to “T-5) Clockwork Quandary”

  1. Marie Holt says:

    Maybe you should take a look here :http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/seat-at-head-of-table.html

    Bon Voyage,

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